A must-have skill: assertive-asking

How often do you ask for what you want? How do you ask? Whom do you ask? Refining your asking skills can contribute to your resilience. 

As summer comes to a close and you start thinking about the next school year, consider what it might look like for you to ask for what you want – perhaps from your principal or boss, from colleagues, or from friends and family. How might assertive-asking sustain you this year? 

A few guidelines:

  • Make specific requests. 
  • Say why your ask is important to you – but don’t go on and on explaining. 
  • Be ok with hearing, “No, I can’t do that.” 

Some sample asks: 

  • I’d prefer not to receive emails or Slack messages about work on weekends unless it’s urgent. If you need to send them, could you use a scheduling tool so they arrive on Monday morning? 
  • I’m committed to spending one hour on Monday planning my coaching sessions for the week. By the end of Monday, could you ask me if I did it? I think that little accountability would be really helpful. 
  • If you’re going to ask me to do something (participate in a new team, take on an additional responsibility, mentor a new teacher, etc.) could you send the request in a Slack or text message, or an email? I have a hard time saying “no” to requests I get in person and having the message in writing will give me space to thoughtfully consider it. When I receive your message, I’ll let you know when I’ll get back to you. Thanks! 
  • Could we create a schedule for making dinner? I want to eat healthier and it would help if we plan. 
  • I need to walk more. Do you want to be my walking buddy? I’m up for early morning or evening walks!
  • If you’ve read enough of The PD Book to feel like you can recommend it to others, could you leave a short review on Amazon? It makes a big difference in getting the book out there in the world. 

Also, when your asks are met, be sure to share your gratitude. That can sound like this: 

  • I am SO GRATEFUL for this community – I asked (and asked and asked) for you all to pre-order The PD Book, and over 5000 of you said yes! Because of this, we made it on one of the most important lists in the publishing world (in week 1, The PD Book was #7 of ALL NEW PAPERBACK RELEASES! I mean, up there with NY Times bestsellers! And this means that a lot of new eyes landed on this book!). But it’s really that you showed up for me in this way, that you answered my ask. Thank you. Deep thank yous. 

What do you want to ask for? Go. Do it. 

P.S. My ask to leave a review for The PD Book is a real one. If you’ve read it, I’d be so grateful if you would take a minute to do so!