Coaching Across Lines of Difference

In our Coaching for Equity workshop (the next one is coming up October 28-30), we teach participants how to facilitate five types of equity conversations: the relationship conversation, the emotions conversation, the unpacking the mental model conversation, the elephant-in-the-room conversation, and the legacy conversation. If you need to interrupt inequities, these five will have you covered. 

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In addition to these explicit equity conversations, the workshop also provides you opportunities to explore your own identity, and how your identity impacts how you coach and relate to your clients. This week on the podcast I demonstrate a coaching conversation where I found myself actively pulling from these parts of the workshop. My coaching “client” was a white, a man, and resistant to discussing his emotions. This presented multiple lines of difference for me to coach across. 

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Coaching across lines of difference can be challenging for even the most experienced coaches. Here are a few things I’ve found help: 

• Tend to yourself. All Transformational Coaches must start with themselves. Coaches of color in particular must tend to our own healing. We live in a racist society. As a person of color we experience trauma on a regular basis. We deserve the space and time to tend to our own healing. It’s a pathway to our own liberation, and to contributing to the healing of the world. 
• Name it. Acknowledging the lines of differences allows them to be openly considered and brought into the conversation when appropriate. 
• Identify your triggers. We all have them. Know yours and do the work to build skills for when you’re activated. 
• Practice. That’s part of doing the work ⬆️. 
• Build your community. Too often coaches of color are the “only” in their schools and organizations. There is a power and solace in being surrounded by people who “get” your experience on a personal level. This is why we offer racial affinity groups in our Coaching for Equity workshop. 

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If coaching across lines of difference is challenging for you or brings up unpleasant emotions, know that is okay. Be gentle with yourself. And keep going.

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Keep learning:

• Get content like this sent straight to your inbox by subscribing to my Weekly Wisdom Newsletter.
• Learn more about the five types of equity conversations by reading Coaching for Equity and downloading my free Book Study Guide.
• Jump right in and take my Coaching for Equity workshop. You'll see coaching conversations modeled and have chances to practice.