Mastering Difficult Conversations: How to Coach Emotions for Deeper Impact

If you want to help someone shift their perspective, stop focusing on their thoughts—and start addressing their emotions.

The Key to Shifting Perspectives: Focus on Emotions, Not Thoughts

When navigating “difficult conversations,” especially after feedback has been shared, how you frame your questions can make all the difference. Instead of asking:

• ❌ “What does that make you think?”

Try asking:

• 👍 “What are you feeling?”

This simple shift can completely transform the conversation.

Why Emotions Are Essential for Growth and Development

Here’s why focusing on emotions works:

• 💡 Emotions are always present: If someone is engaged in a conversation, their emotions are part of it too. Acknowledging this helps us navigate the interaction more effectively.
• 💡 Emotions offer wisdom: Inviting emotions into the discussion allows us to uncover the deeper stories and insights they carry.
• 💡 Ignoring emotions has consequences: Suppressed emotions often find other ways to manifest, causing disruption and confusion. By actively inviting emotions into the dialogue, we create a safe space for processing and understanding.
• 💡 Shifting perspectives starts with feelings: Stories—and the perspectives they shape—emerge from our feelings. If we want to support meaningful change, we must first name and explore those emotions.

A Simple Framework for Difficult Conversations

To support the growth and development of others, coaching emotions is essential. Shifting perspectives doesn’t happen through logic alone; it requires emotional engagement.

Keep Learning

If this is an area where you’d like to grow your skills and confidence, consider these next steps:

• ➡️ Listen to this podcast episode to explore actionable tips for coaching emotions.
• ➡️ Attend “The Art of Coaching Emotions” Workshop on March 5-6. Learn a simple framework for coaching emotions and watch a live demonstration of how to use it effectively.
• Subscribe to Elena’s Weekly Wisdom Newsletter to have content just like this sent straight to your inbox

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