I’d Always Be in the “Needs to Improve” Column in this Area

I teach what I need/want to learn. I do a lot of talking, writing, and teaching about emotions because I need/want to have a healthy relationship with them. Research is me-search. 

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Truth is, a part of me hates emotions. Hates that I experience them. Hates that I have to deal with them. I’m afraid of them. I find them uncomfortable. I’d rather write, present, or facilitate a meeting than feel my feelings. I also think I don’t do feelings well. If there were a rubric for feeling feelings, I’d always be in the “needs to improve” column. 

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That may be true, but it’s not the full truth. 

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I’ve also accepted that while it’s inevitable that I’ll experience emotions—how I experience them is within my sphere of control. I’ve learned that emotions can be a source of energy, wisdom, and resilience. And as I practice experiencing them, I discover that it’s not that bad, not that hard, and even a relief. 

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In a recent podcast episode, I gave you a sneak peek into my forthcoming book, Arise: The Art of Transformational Coaching (July 2024). (Have you pre-ordered yet? There are all kinds of bonuses through July 23, 2024 if you do!). This portion was about emotions. There are three chapters in this book about how to coach emotions, which includes how to deal with resistance. These were some of my favorite chapters to write because I learned so much in the process. 

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Here’s the best news about emotions (I think): We can learn how to have a good relationship with them. This is an acquirable skillset! Which means that one day, I can score higher on the how-you-do-emotions rubric! And guess what? I can teach you a bit about how to do this. If you want to be an effective coach, you’ve got to start with yourself—with your relationship to emotions, and by deepening that relationship. I can teach you how to do that.