Is there “us” and “them” drama on your team?

I can’t tell you how many times I think, I wish I’d known then what I know now.

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In episode 195 of The Bright Morning Podcast, I talked about relationships between leaders at sites–between coaches and admin, and more generally, between staff. This episode took me back to some rough years when I worked at a site where the tension between teachers and admin bubbled out of the building like a toxic cloud. 

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As a coach, I was perceived as being “them”--as being on the “side” of admin. I didn’t know how to deal with this. I felt hurt and angry. I felt rejected. I became defensive and decided to ally myself with the admin. But I also didn’t align in any way with the site administrators. I felt very lonely and unable to deal with all the tension.  

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What I wish I’d known then is that I needed to start by attending to my own emotions. I needed to explore them, feel them, and release them. 

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I also needed skills to cultivate the emotional intelligence of the teams that I was on, and that I led--I needed 44 Ways to Build the Emotional Intelligence of a Team. I needed to know how to introduce these ideas and get buy-in, and I needed to know how to scaffold them and use them. 

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I needed colleagues with whom I could talk to, who had had similar experiences, and who were also trying to navigate the complexities of working in a dysfunctional system. I needed to know I wasn’t alone and that there was hope. 

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I designed The Art of Coaching Teams workshop to be the development I needed then. If this is something you need now, I hope you join an upcoming workshop. You don’t have to do this alone.